The Broom Seller and the Barber卖扫帚的人和理发师
A man who sold brooms went into a barber’s shop to get shaved. The barber brought one of his brooms. After he had shaved him, he asked for the price of the brooms.一个卖扫帚的人去理发店修面。理发师从他那里买了一把扫帚。当理发师给他修面后，问一下他扫帚的价格。
“Two pence,” said the man.卖扫帚的人说：“两个便士。”
“No, no,” said the barber. “I will give you a penny, and if you don’t think that is enough, you may take your broom back!”“不，不。”理发师说：“我只出一个便士，如果你认为不够的话，可以把扫帚拿回去。”
The man took it and asked what he had to pay his shave.卖扫帚的人拿回了扫帚，随后问修面要付多少钱。
“A penny,” said the barber.“一便士。”理发师说。
“I will give you a half penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again.”卖扫帚的人说：“我给你半个便士，如果不够的话，请把我的胡子还给我。”
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”
奥斯卡驾驶着自己崭新的奔驰汽车去他最喜爱的体育用品商店。他把车停在了外面，到店里去找经常为他服务的简小姐看一些资料。简是一位非常漂亮的金发女郎。奥斯卡走进店里受到了她热烈的欢迎。奥斯卡提出想先自己转转，再找简帮忙。简同意了。5分钟后，简跑过来大叫着:“奥斯卡，奥斯卡！我刚才看到一个人把你的新奔驰车开走了！”
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
“我的天啊！你没叫住他吗？”
"No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”
“没有，”简说:“我的方法更好，我记下了他的车牌号。”
有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。她很害怕老鼠，所以她冲出屋子，搭上了公共汽车直奔商店。在那儿，她买了一只老鼠夹。店主告诉她：“放点奶酪在里面，很快你就会逮住那只老鼠的。”
这位女士带着鼠夹回到家里，但她没有在碗橱里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去，因为已经很晚了。于是，她就从一份杂志中剪下一幅奶酪的图片放进了夹子。
令人称奇的是，这画有奶酪的图片竟然奏效了！第二天早上，这位女士下楼到厨房时，发现鼠夹里奶酪图片旁有一张画有老鼠的图片！
Gardening Gloves
For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you‘ll notice that my hands are bare."
Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves.
精彩范文吧